Mum: No thanks sweetie.
*5 minutes later*
Mum: HONEST TO GOD IT'S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK I'D COME BACK AND YOU'D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES HONESTLY I DO SO MUCH AND I'M NOT EVEN VALUED DO YOU EVEN CARE NO YOU DON'T
He’s been recognized!
Happy birthday to my favorite little derp. It’s been fun watching you turn from fawn to buck.
Your days of being a fawn are slowly coming to an end as you turn twenty-six. Watching you develop from your tiny Bambi-like frame back during your years with the Moose to your somewhat of a larger one as you entered the league donning a Canucks jersey was a pleasant surprise.
From your god-given speed to your special spin-o-rama shootout moves, an exceptional player that you are. There are not enough thank yous to go around for how much you have done not only on the ice, but contributed off the ice. The various charities and volunteer work you have taken part in to help ones in need show that you are a person with a huge heart.
We hope to see you back on the ice soon. We all love you and your dimple-like charm, and pray that your back heals completely.
Have a wonderful birthday Mase, you deserve it.